I am a market intern, which means that basically every Wednesday I get to go to the market downtown and buy things with a few others interns and a staff member for the market that we have here on campus. Becca took Mike, Morgan, Hope, and I today. After we were done looking thru all of the shops and walking thru the mall, we left and on the way back to campus Becca decided that Starbucks was a great way to end the shopping portion of our day. There were no complaints from the back seats. :)
Today’s title refers to several things. First off, I talked the maintenance boys into coming into the girl’s room and changing the shower head for me. After that it was hilarious to listen to each girl go in and yell either “wow!” or “wooohoooo!” Yes, the old one was that bad. Next up I scaled the cabinets in our 10 foot tall closet to change the light bulb that has been burnt out all summer. I was on a roll at this point and decided to completely scrub down and disinfect our bathroom as well as sweep all of the mountains of hair off the dorm floor.
Not only does the day for cleaning refer to literal cleaning, but also refers to metaphorical cleaning. Tonight was Greg’s night to speak during extended worship. I’ve been struggling this week with figuring out how to forgive myself for things that have happened to me in my past and have been completely unsure of how to go about this process.
As I said, last night was extended worship night and I was at a point where I was so sick of dealing with this that I just wanted it to go away. So I cried out to God, quite literally begging and pleading with Him to reveal Himself to me and show me that I am forgiven for these mistakes. I did not expect what came next. The clearest signs I’ve ever received in my life. First He starts off with Greg’s Bible verses that he was referring to that have always captivated me. He was talking about the Samaritan woman at the well, for those of you who know this story and know me, you know why I resonate with it so much. Greg then began telling us that God wants to deal with the messy stuff in our lives that we hide in the basement. Jesus walks into our heart and goes right past the living room where we have set up a nice, pretty, and put-together life and He goes straight to the basement, turns on the light and says, “Let’s deal with this together.”
I had to choke back tears the entire time until I was finally able to stop sitting in the living room and follow Jesus down to the basement. It didn’t just stop there. Four years ago when I was in Tijuana, MX with Amor Ministries, there was a song that we sang every night that I have loved and that has been my absolute favorite worship song. That song was “From the Inside Out.” After Greg was done speaking, I had tears streaming down my face. But when Ben began playing that song, it was then and there that I knew that it was okay to feel forgiven and free to be open to what God has in store for me next.
This may be some pretty deep stuff for some of you, but I feel that you all need to know how much God is working in Mexico. Not just the ins and outs of what I do every day.
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